No Pepperonis After Ten
by kdzl
Summary: Why does JJ's husband make a few new rules at two in the morning? Read to find out!


**_AN/I think I may have come across one of those dangerous cookies that I've been warning people about._**

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"Blue is for a boy! We are having a girl. NO BLUE!" JJ shouted at her husband. While David Rossi was cute, he had horrible interior design ideas. The excursion to Home Depot was turning out to be far worse than JJ could have ever anticipated.

"You were the one that told me that we weren't forcing our daughter into stereotypical gender roles, so why not blue?" Rossi retorted as he wrapped his arms around her growing belly.

"I am vetoing blue, I will however, concede to yellow, green, or purple." She told him in complete seriousness as they stared at the paint samples.

"What about brown?" He asked.

"DAVID ROSSI, YOU ONLY WANT THAT BECAUSE IT WASN'T AN OPTION AND YOU LIKE TO MAKE ME MAD!" She shouted near hysteria. "Do you know how unbelivebly ugly a brown nursery would be?"

"You like chocolate and thats brown." He pointed out teasingly, then noticing the glare she was giving him, he returned to her approved options. "I am not all that keen on purple, but yellow or green would be alright. Wait, is that Prentiss and Hotch?" Rossi asked as JJ whipped around in shock.

She saw Emily and Hotch, holding hands near the sink section. JJ felt a small pit in her stomach when she saw them together, but all anger ceased as she felt her loving husband put his hand on her back. "I didn't even know they were dating. Did you, sweetheart?" He said while staring at the couple.

"No, I had no idea. I mean, I knew she was seeing someone, but I had no idea that it was Hotch." She said confused, she was sure if Emily were dating Hotch that she would have known about it. She was no profiler, but she always had a really good hunch for this sort of thing.

"Well, I can't blame him for trying to keep this quiet, seeing how public his divorce got. Good for him." Rossi said nudging her slightly. JJ was surprised when she saw Hotch go into kiss Emily, she couldn't quite place it, but something seemed off.

"This is so strange Dave! Really!" She said hitting him slightly, causing him to grunt. "I have never seen Emily kiss anyone, and they are practically going for the gold in the middle of the store! Hotch just does not seem the type!" It was like a train wreck, she couldn't pull her eyes away as Emily and Hotch continued to kiss passionately.

"Why do you even care what he is doing?" He asked her skeptically, wrapping his arm around her and rubbing her belly softly.

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" She gasped, JJ had no clue why she cared that Hotch was dating Prentiss, but she did...Very much.

"Honey, do you think that this has anything to do with the fact that you like to know other people's business? Or that Emily is one of your best friends and that she didn't tell you that she was seeing Hotch?" Rossi explained easily.

"That must be it." JJ mused, going back to her paint samples. "I think yellow is the best choice, it seems happy. Like sunshine."

"Yellow is great, but brown would be even better." Rossi teased, leaning on her. She went to swat him lightly, but heard a loud. "OWWWW!"

JJ suddenly opened her eyes to see her husband rubbing his shoulder.

"Kickboxing in your dream again?" Hotch asked her as he turned on the light. "Sweetie, that hurt."

"I had the wierdest dream!" JJ gasped, "I was married to Rossi! That really should have been my first clue that it was a dream--or a nightmare, I'm still not sure." She said, pulling the pillow over her face.

"Jayje, you don't talk to him, and when you do he calls you 'kiddo'. Am I missing something?" Hotch teased. "Atleast it isn't the dream you had about Emily, I had to listen for nearly two hours about how weird it was and how, while you support other's life choices, you are not a lesbian. Which by the way, I am very glad about."

"That was a weird dream too. But in this one, _you_ were dating Emily." She told him with wide eyes, "You were practically taking her in the paint section. Well, I was in the paint section, you two were at the sinks. Which, why would you be buying sinks?"

"Wait, why are you so obsessed with Emily. If you aren't dating her, I supposedly am?" Observing her reaction to what he said, he decided to resume what they had been talking about. "And how did you react when you saw me and Emily?"

"I felt sick, I was mad! But then Dave kept on telling me how I was just snoopy and that I was upset that I didn't know sooner." JJ explained. "I knew seeing you and Emily together was weird for some reason." She said, her blood boiling slightly at the idea of Hotch and Emily together.

"Well that's good, I am glad that subconciously you remember that I am married to you. Why were you in the paint section?" He asked curiously. He didn't believe much in dream analysis, but he had found in the years married to Jennifer Jareau, that her dreams tended to be very entertaining.

"Because we were picking out paint colors for the nursery, so apparently in my dreams I am still pregnant." She said, rubbing her baby bump. "I am a terrible mother, I forgot I had Henry."

"Really, did you decide anything?" He asked curiously, ignoring her jab at her own parenting. They had been at odds about what color their baby's room would be for months, so he was willing to take suggestions from everywhere, even JJ's odd dreams.

"Yellow....I hate yellow!" She cringed disgustedly.

"Whatever, your brain is trying to tell you that I was right. The nursery needs to be yellow." He told her with a smile.

"No, it was so odd. I'm glad it was just a dream. Rossi is nice and all, but he wanted a brown room, and that is never going to fly--not even in my dreams." JJ said, relieved. "But if you ever make out with Prentiss at Home Depot...."

"Sweetie, I think this means two things. One, you are not allowed to eat pepperonis after ten, because you can't handle it. Second, You need to find some friends that don't work at the BAU, I don't think I can handle a dream where you are married to Reid, or Morgan for that matter."

"Alright..."She said as she snuggled closer into Aaron Hotchner, "Turn off the light, sweetie, let's go back to sleep."

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**_AN/No offense at all is meant to JJ/Rossi shippers, or JJ/Emily, or Hotch/Emily, for that matter. Read and Review, I'd like to hear what you think! Oh, and I don't own Criminal Minds._**


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